Essay on "cow" by a ICS candidate

IThis is a true essay written by a ICS (Indian Civil Services - an exam to be included in top bureaucracy in Indian Sub-continent) candidate at the ICS Exam held in year 2002-2003 in  . The candidates were asked to write essay on Cow and one candidate has written an essay on Cow:


I bet that you will forget your English once you finish this essay.


   "COW"


He is the cow. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed. And
because he is female, he gives milks, [but will do so when he is got 
child.]. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he

has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His
whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 
taps attached to his basement. [horses don't have any such attachment]


   What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, water mans 
and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species. Also his other motion. {gober} is much useful to trees, plants
as well as for making  flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand, and drying in 
the sun.


Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards he chews with his teeth that are situated in the inside of
the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only 
attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got
child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to
be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with 
great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the
backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of
the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on
his cohesive body here upon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet
are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night
time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes
and nose are like his other relatives.


This is the cow.


Rumor is that the guy cleared the ICS & is now Commissioner somewhere in Punjab
!!!

Enjoy.....
Have nice day